I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize