Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
my liver is dry heaving
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
