you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
