I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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