I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
