Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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