butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize