When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
