i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
