real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
