I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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