He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
