Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
