Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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