Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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