I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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