If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
