You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
