I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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