Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
