This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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