We won't sleep together?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
