I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
