I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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