I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
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I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
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I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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