I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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