Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It's just like the Real World with babies
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
