i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she smelled like a LAN party
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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