The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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