I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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