I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Randomize