OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
