Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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