Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i love accidental penises.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
