is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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