Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think my fart just growled at me.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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