having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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