You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
