I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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