there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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