i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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