There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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