you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
