He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
