Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
