i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
They are going to name an STD after you.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
