Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
