Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
