I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
