And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
