I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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