Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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