Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
