another moral hangover. fuck.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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