take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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