Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
