Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
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