Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
