I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Randomize
