remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
