haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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