U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I booty called her while she was in labor.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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