call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
