guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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